Are you one of the many wives who is struggling to communicate with your
husband in recent weeks, or maybe months?
Find out what you can do to help him open up to you again with these
helpful communication tips from the matchmakers at Birmingham Singles.
Many couples who have been married for many years might someday realize
that they don't talk to each other too much anymore. While in the early days of marriage, partners
are very interested in trying to find everything out about each other, their
likes, dislikes, dreams, and everything in between, over time they get so
involved with kids, long work schedules, and other responsibilities that they
have no idea when was the last time they had a meaningful conversation with
their partner.
A dangerous situation that comes from such disconnection is that both
couples will begin to drift apart from each other, explains Birmingham
Singles. And this can eventually
cause the end of their marriage. So if
you find that your partner is too caught up with their daily routine to give
you an ear, or has been purposely giving you the silent treatment, use these
helpful tips from the matchmakers at Birmingham Singles so you can get
him to open up to you once again.
Pick The Right Time To Talk Him
You might be anxious to have communication with your partner and share
your thoughts with him, but this does not mean you must bombard him as soon as
he enters your home from work. It is
possible he might have had a stressful day and is preoccupied with work-related
issues or family issues. If you decide
to have a conversation at such a time, you might not get the response you were
looking for. Or worse, your partner
might ignore you completely. So start a
conversation with your partner after he's come out of the shower and is ready
to eat dinner, so he is in a more relaxed state of mind.
Talk To Him The Right Way
The secret of good communication in a marriage is equable exchange of
thoughts and feelings. And to ensure
this happens with your partner, do not start the conversation with him in an
accusing tone of voice. Stay away from sentences
starting with, "You," such as, "You do not listen to me
anymore." Rather, start the
conversation like this, "I would feel better if you and I could talk to
each other daily." So stay clear of
things like, "You always avoid me when I want to talk to you." Or, "You never listen to anything I have
to say." Words like that will put
your partner in a defensive stand and you will get nowhere, explains BirminghamSingles.
Focus On What's Going On
While you might have a lot of things pent up inside of you, it's best
to stop dragging things out from the past.
The key is to communicate with your partner about present thoughts and
feelings. Sort out past issues another
time--That can be done after you have established good communication with your
husband.
Exchange Notes With Him
Many people are not good when it comes to expressing their feelings
with words, and other people just don't like to do it, period. In such situations, it is best to express
your feelings through notes, explains Birmingham Singles. Tuck a note in your husband's lunchbox,
briefcase, or hide it in his pillow so that when he goes to sleep, he can see
it. By writing a note, it gives a person
more time to think about what you have said, and it's better because he will
not give you any hasty responses. And
better yet, when you write a note, if
you feel the words are not exactly what you want to say, you can rewrite it
again, unlike when speaking to him real time.
Try it out this way and you will find that communication could be a lot
better with your partner.
Show Interest In Him
Good communication isn't just about getting your thoughts and feelings
across, it also means you need to understand him, his feelings, and what he's
going through, explains Birmingham Singles. Constantly complaining to your partner about
how things are always hard for you could put your partner in a defensive stand
or even make him give you the silent treatment.
So start involving your partner in the conversation and ask him how his
day was, what he ate for lunch, and how his afternoon meeting with his boss
went. Show interest in your partner's
daily life and activities and it will make it easier for him to open up.
Be Firm If You Have To
If you find that despite all your hard work your partner doesn't open
up to you, then it might be time to take a more active approach. Find out when your partner is using
work-related pressures or family issues to tune out. Turn the TV off, or lower the music down if
your partner is using them to avoid a conversation with them. State clearly to him that you need to be
heard and that you deserve full attention from him. However, be careful not to get into an
argument with him, as this will be an excuse for your partner to walk away from
you altogether.
Use Non-Verbals
Effective communication between two partners doesn't always have to be
talking. Make use of non-verbals to let
your partner know how much you love him, suggests Birmingham Singles. Give your husband a hug as soon as your
husband walks in the door from work, or send him tickets to a big game... He
will surely appreciate your gestures.
Also, look for ways that you can help him out--Do his laundry, cook him
breakfast, pack his lunch, or take the dog out when he's too tired to do
it. These acts will not only lighten his
responsibilities, but it will make it easier for him to give you the attention
that you need.
Be Patient
Be prepared that it does take a while for some partners to open
up. Understand that some men might need
to feel emotionally secure in order to let their feelings out. Men keep their feelings in because they fear
looking silly or being made fun of. This
is why it's important you reassure him that it won't happen with you, explains BirminghamSingles, and that he does not need to feel insecure about talking to
you.
Lack Of Communication...
Lack of communication can often lead couples to pull apart from each
other, even when they're actually perfect for one another, explains Birmingham
Singles. Too much work pressure and
family responsibilities can widen the distance until the marriage is eventually
destroyed. But communication can be
fixed, unlike adultery or other problems.
Remember to be patient with your partner and give him affection so that
he is able to talk to you and you can become a couple again.
